Is Your Hair the Perfect Breeding Ground for Bloodsucking Vampire Bugs? Find Out!

What kinds of hair is more likely to be infested with lice? Do lice prefer short hair or longer hair, dark hair or light hair; or do they infest all kinds of hair? Do lice discriminate based on hair types? Do they like blondes or brunettes?

We, the Mammals of the United States

Mammals have always been at an advantage compared to other classes of animals since they are all born with natural insulators that help regulate their body temperature: we’re talking, of course, about hair. Hair has its many functions to perform—and looks great, too—but becomes a sorry nuisance when we realize that our hair has attracted some unwanted attention from bloodsucking parasites. So do they have preferences or predilections, or does anything work for them?

Do Lice Have a “Type?”

No, lice aren’t picky. They do “pick” at your head and cause you quite the proverbial headache, but they don’t pick and choose. Any kind of head works for them, as long as the scalp has hair.

Short or Long?

For starters, you can find lice on the heads of someone who has hair like Hagrid, or Gandalf, or the Wyatt brothers. Not because lice like wizards or wrestlers, but because there’s such an abundance of hair to be had. And thus, so far as lice “types” go, they’re more likely to be found in longer hair than in shorter.

Blonde or Brunette?

The only animal known to prefer a particular hair color was King Kong—and he wasn’t a louse. If lice were goth, they’d all go for darker hair, but since they aren’t exactly as opinionated as humans, they’re fine with all hues.

Straight or Curly?

Lice aren’t exactly as concerned with the style of the hair. Lice are very much like humans in this regard: they’re lazy, and they’re just looking to cut down on energy. So the easier the head, the likelier that it is infested by lice.

Clean or Dirty?

Contrary to popular belief, lice don’t have a thing for dirty hair. In fact, they prefer clean hair: again, because it’s easy. It’s not hygiene that lice are concerned with: you’re not a 5 star hotel wherein they’re looking for clean towels. You’re a blood bank and they’re only looking for complementary breakfasts. Again, very much like humans in this regard: we all like free food.

Masculine or Feminine?

Lice couldn’t care less about gender. Lice are quite the politically correct type as they do not assume anybody’s gender going by their head. Of course, it is widely believed that women are likelier to get head lice than men, but let’s just blame the patriarchy for perpetuating such an outlandish myth.

How Religious are Lice? Are They Interested in World Politics?

As long as you have hair, these godless lice will feed on you. They fear no one–not even nukes. And unlike the various aliens and monsters who always visit America, these little parasites are just and fair in their bloodsucking activities. Lice do not discriminate based on anything other than the amount of hair and blood, and that’s about it.

Which Brings Us Back to the Question: Is Your Hair the Perfect Breeding Ground for These Bloodsucking Vampire Bugs?

You have hair. You are therefore eligible for lice infestation. You won’t even need to grant them a VISA to allow them to enter your territory. If you really fear for you’re the territorial integrity of your hair, get in touch with a professional lice removal service in Pembroke Pines or Hollywood today!